Hey, it's International Women's Day
It’s International Women’s Day and my feeds are full of women winning awards, breaking barriers, getting funded, innovating. I’m in awe of their confidence and drive, how they somehow prevailed when impostor syndrome chases me and so many of my friends, threatening to swallow us alive if we dare take risks. There are also women in my feeds just doing their thing, which for some of us can be a daily struggle. My sister texted me this morning feeling deflated because she was late to meet a friend, forgot the stroller, didn’t have what she needed in the diaper bag. All she needed was a bus to drive by and douse her with a wave of dirty water and she’d be the living embodiment of that hapless sitcom mom trope.
I remember when my daughter was an infant and I had just returned to work, feeling like I had abandoned her. I cried to my therapist about what a terrible mother I was and she told me that kids don’t need perfect, they need good enough. (This was backed by research, too.) That stuck with me and I decided that doing my best also meant letting the redhead see the imperfect side of life: rifling through the hamper to get one more wear out of those jeans, cutting off the moldy parts of bread, store-bought cookies, TV instead of books before bed, dry shampoo to eke out one more day between hair washing. Like my sister’s frazzled morning, none of these are morally corrupt; they are simply good enough.
Just this week one of my designers emailed me about a production issue that was causing a delay in my order. This mistake is not going to deter me from ordering from her again, nor does it take away from the thoughtful collection she produces each season. In business and in life, our imperfections are integral to our achievements; they teach us patience, forgiveness, acceptance. They make us try again. Plus, we’re already faced with too much retouching, we shouldn’t have to hold ourselves to that standard when life doesn’t.
Today, I’m choosing to admire not just the shiny accomplishments and trophies of successful women, but also the blemished banalities of those of us living life in between. To the women I know who got up and dressed and are spending the day checking shit off their To Do list, I toast your good-enoughness today and all the days.
Pic of my sister, the redhead and me basking in our imperfect selves